help me to breathe..

Can you tell me what exactly do I need? I feel so empty. This emptiness must be filled with something. I’m waiting for a huge feeling that will cover me at all. I don’t mean love, friendship or great party, I want something that will inspire me to live and to breathe. I don’t really care what that will be. I just need it even more than life ‘cause my life depends on it. If you know how to describe the thing I need just describe it.  If you know where I can find this just draw the map for me. If you can give me this just give! I would be so grateful. And I’ll owe you, I promise. Just let me know…

dreams of my soul

Now I know how loneliness looks like..It feels so empty inside and I don’t even know how to describe this. So I’ll start from the very beginning. Three weeks ago I saw a miracle. This miracle was my little cousin. My aunt had a baby. I dreamt about this child and couldn’t wait to see her. Finally that happened and little miracle was sleeping on my arms. I couldn’t breathe when I saw her first time. She was so tiny and so beautiful!! It was first time I saw newborn baby. Happy Aunt asked me to be Godmother. And I was. Maybe I am the best Godmother in the world, maybe I’m not, but it’s unforgettable feeling. I was in church and promised that my little girl will always be kind and generous, smart and beautiful. It sounded like future prediction that must happen! After ceremony baby got a name. It’s Sophie. Since then this name has become my favorite. Three weeks lasted like one day. My aunt with my little god-daughter packed their bags and went away. They went home. They live far away from me so I said Goodbye in train. Sophie was staring at me. Her big blue eyes were so kind and warm. I hugged my Aunt and kissed baby’s hand. I would swear I saw her smiling. And then they left. And I was standing on the platform. And it was snowing. I cried. Those tears meant I really loved her. I miss her so much and dream to see her one more time.. I believe she’ll come to me as soon as possible. So the only thing I have to do is waiting…..